Something I noticed after changing my life around was that I lost my sense of who I was. I last had to turn my life around after going through a trauma, and all I could see when looking at myself was the word “broken”. No matter how often I heard compliments, nothing resonated, only the feeling of being broken. We’ve posted before about reconnecting with yourself, but as we mentioned in our previous post, life will be different after something traumatic or a big change – you can’t necessarily go back to the person you used to be. But how do you find yourself without letting other people’s opinions define that? Here are some exercises that can help you.

1 Leaves on a river meditation

This is a meditation that helps you see all your characteristics without engaging with them at all. Go to the mindfulness section of this blog if you are looking for other types of meditation.

In this specific meditation, you need to picture yourself sitting in front of a river, with the leaves of trees around you falling in it. Picture in each leaf a characteristic about you – whether physical or personality-wise – and just watch all the leaves float in the river and go with its flow. You might notice a bigger number of leaves with positive or negative qualities, but just focus on observing all of them. You can do this meditation for however long you deem necessary.

2 Looking at yourself in the mirror

For this exercise, you would need to sit in front of a mirror for about 30 minutes every day. During that time frame, you would focus on stating facts only about what you see. For example, my hair is waist-length, curly, black; my eyes are hazel with accents of yellow; my nose is small, pointy, etc. And you can do the same about your emotions and feelings – I’m feeling hungry, cold, tired, my hand hurts from writing, etc. That will help you get a realistic grasp of yourself and separate you from outside opinions.

3 Finding new hobbies and passions

In our post about reconnecting with ourselves, we talked about going back to past hobbies, but there’s also something to say about acquiring new ones. Once you feel lost, going back to who you were isn’t necessarily the best option. By learning new things and maybe re-identifying yourself, you can heal and grow into a new, and hopefully, better version of yourself. You can find peace in different activities that you never thought would make you feel better.


Self-discovery, or maybe re-discovery, can be a tricky and long path, but it will be very helpful. Not only will it help with your healing process, but it will also be helpful to your self-esteem. It’s easier to have self-love once you know who you really are. Answer this question for us in the comment, please: Did you feel lost in who you were after you changed your life around? If yes, comment down below how you found yourself again.

by Bruna Gorresio